Accept no substitutes. Might or might not be twitchy, unreliable-looking. All packaging, no product. Elitist douche. Lion.

The One True b!X is a fifteen-year resident of the Portland of Oregon born forty-two years ago in upstate New York. A devout agnostic and misanthrope who aspires to be an at least passable rationalist, he believes that cynicism is frustrated optimism, resulting only from first believing that people are capable of better and then too often being proved wrong. He also believes this is why the small, every day courtesies matter.

He neither bikes nor dances nor dates nor drives nor drugs nor sexes nor swims. He does, occasionally but with an increasing rarity, drink. Since the death of his father, he no longer smokes. He is a life-long resident of Red Sox Nation who, when not wearing his baseball cap, sometimes can be spotted wearing a porkpie.

By the Oxford English Dictionary definition of "slack" as the amount of time in critical path analysis by which a particular event may be delayed without delaying the achievement of the overall objective, he considers himself a slacker. To this day, however, he has yet to determine the overall objective.

If events were pictures and emotions were sounds, his memories would play as silent movies.

After the creative successes of Portland Communique and Can't Stop the Serenity, the worthwhile failure of the Millennium Cafe, and years wandering the wilds of fandom including the official Evil League of Evil website, if he could he'd handle social networking for a particular, unnamed media figure.

His photography has appeared in or been used by The Portland Mercury, The Progressive, Portland Opera, Atomic Arts, Newsarama, Nerdist, and The Guild; and by Titan Books in their Firefly and Dr. Horrible companion volumes.